mood changes

This is probably not an appropriate place for this. But here goes.

I am frustrated. I feel inadequate. I feel like I'm covering something up -- and part of it is anger.
I don't want to direct that anger towards anyone else, especially anyone I care about. Neither do I want to hold it in, because that is not good for me.

For the last few years, I've been taking part in a study on depression at an area research facility. I have been doing well, and I'm in a transitional phase. For a month and a half, I have been off the medication I was taking. It is rough, at times. But right now, it's -- worse.

There's a lot of change occurring in my personal life right now. It's a little overwhelming. So I may be around, online, or I may not be. If I'm not, it's probably because I feel like I'm going to blow up. Or I'm just too busy.

My younger daughter is home for two weeks before she returns to Iraq until October. I probably will see very little of her while she's here, but I'm used to it.

Even now, it's time for me to leave for work. I'm just not ready. So -- I'll see you around. Maybe.

Bunnies, bunnies...

My daughter Eve needs to see these. So I have decided to embed them here.
Eve has a warped sense of humor, so I think she will like this video. Then she should click on the link to go see Lisa's other videos, because they are also very weird.

I hope she'll laugh so much, there'll be tears in her eyes.

Dog Blogging!

It's a bird...
it's a plane...
it's another cool video with animals!

This one was posted by my friend Mary from evisionarts. The featured store is listed there.

Happy Easter, or whatever joyous event you may celebrate.

Insanity on a Stick

Arggggh!
I am going to run away.
I don't know when I will be back.

I'm taking everything with me. Except my computer.

I've been a moderator on the CafePress board since 2002. I rarely take a break from it. Sometimes -- no, often, I neglect my stores and my feeble attempts at marketing because I get so much into the behind-the-scenes stuff.

When I wasn't there, I was nurturing my group for CP-addicts and others.

Then, one day, all you-know-what broke loose at the CP board. There were changes afoot, and many people would be affected. No one was happy. No one could agree on answers to questions. Solutions were questionable. People were in an uproar.

And then someone mentioned my group.

Suddenly, hoards of disgruntled CP folk were applying for membership. I was approving new members, but keeping them on no-post moderated-only status.
My email filled up with approval emails for memberships and for posting. The posting had already gone haywire from the regular members. Now it was worse. I abandoned hope of catching up on old posts and tried to stay on top of new ones, still watching the fires burning on the CP board.

During March, we had 2,913 posts, breaking our old monthy post count record from November 2002. Today is April 2, and there have been 251, so far this month. It appears that it is slowing down a bit.

I love my group. But it isn't my "happy place" right now.





I was staying up for hours at night to read, edit, moderate, and post, but I was not enjoying myself. I was neglecting my stores, my life, and myself. So I decided to take a break.
Only I can hear it calling to me. No, I'm not. I'm not going to go there. They can calm down a bit and read. It'll do them good.
I'm going to work on stores and art. I'm going to expand my horizons and further educate myself. I'm going to relax.

But I'm going to be itching to get back to the peaceful, happy place. I hope they haven't blown it up by the time I get there.